I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize