he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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