dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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