I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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