i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
