is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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