my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
