why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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