So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
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he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
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Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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