I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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