According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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