i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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