I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
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Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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