I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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