Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
