I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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