Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
