i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
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Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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