We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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