Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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