You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
