based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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