you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
