I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
