why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
