Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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