Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
