can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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