come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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