i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your penis caused this!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
