i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what day is it and did you see me today?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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