It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
