Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize