If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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