i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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