I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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