JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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