Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
