Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
