It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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