i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she smelled like a LAN party
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
