i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
