We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
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Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool