Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.