i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
