omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just pee around me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
