He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
