i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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