ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Randomize
