Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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