I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize