Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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