she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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