I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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