My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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