Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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