she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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