i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
