Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she smelled like a LAN party
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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