whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
