I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
