My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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