just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
there is glitter all over my balls
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
