He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
