Your mouth is God's brothel.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration