Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
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THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok