Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again

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  (310): we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again http://tfl.nu/lt5n
  Replies (36) Good night (4044) Bad night (618)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it

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  (940): I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it http://tfl.nu/c2d6
  Replies (10) Good night (2691) Bad night (843)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power

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  (425): the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power http://tfl.nu/ghbk
  Replies (7) Good night (2849) Bad night (828)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  anything for my little brother.

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  (440): thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet. (440): anything for my little brother. http://tfl.nu/0dq6
  Replies (6) Good night (5032) Bad night (810)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?

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  (904): Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke? http://tfl.nu/8orw
  Replies (19) Good night (3964) Bad night (1344)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.

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  (410): I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him. http://tfl.nu/mi5e
  Replies (5) Good night (565) Bad night (1878)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.

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  (412): Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it. http://tfl.nu/x2ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1894) Bad night (956)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..

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  (330): Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand.. http://tfl.nu/4ww2
  Replies (11) Good night (1520) Bad night (544)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!

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  (302): I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me! http://tfl.nu/y8cp
  Replies (5) Good night (1566) Bad night (478)
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  (760): View more from California

  I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.

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  (760): I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/7wj6
  Replies (3) Good night (406) Bad night (1308)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.

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  (615): Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will. http://tfl.nu/qydy
  Replies (11) Good night (762) Bad night (312)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Sex is clearly the solution either way.

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  (608): Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored. (1-608): Sex is clearly the solution either way. http://tfl.nu/07hm
  Replies (2) Good night (1095) Bad night (336)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.

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  (919): Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut. http://tfl.nu/igax
  Replies (6) Good night (302) Bad night (751)
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  (716): View more from New York

  Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.

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  (716): Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped. http://tfl.nu/yje2
  Replies (3) Good night (256) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck

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  (804): he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck http://tfl.nu/vp9z
  Replies (0) Good night (391) Bad night (123)

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