Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i wish you could fill a pinata with booze

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  (307): i wish you could fill a pinata with booze http://tfl.nu/eyoz
  Replies (49) Good night (5132) Bad night (718)
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  (661): View more from California

  We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

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  (661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr
  Replies (23) Good night (935) Bad night (7623)
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  (818): View more from California

  it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.

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  (818): it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny. http://tfl.nu/aua9
  Replies (13) Good night (5328) Bad night (1270)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.

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  (412): My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me. http://tfl.nu/dzz5
  Replies (40) Good night (994) Bad night (7778)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.

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  (860): We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun. http://tfl.nu/8k8b
  Replies (20) Good night (2210) Bad night (2820)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.

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  (515): I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises. http://tfl.nu/86bb
  Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (1675)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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  (618): So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date? http://tfl.nu/zipl
  Replies (3) Good night (1873) Bad night (1208)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

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  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (1006) Bad night (891)
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  (916): View more from California

  I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.

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  (916): I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina. http://tfl.nu/c8ir
  Replies (9) Good night (1416) Bad night (703)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.

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  (423): I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him. http://tfl.nu/x8vu
  Replies (9) Good night (2464) Bad night (675)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.

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  (541): We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin. http://tfl.nu/h15a
  Replies (4) Good night (730) Bad night (501)
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  (707): View more from California

  Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!

  (720): View more from Colorado

  True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.

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  (707): Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas! (720): True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place. http://tfl.nu/87wy
  Replies (2) Good night (840) Bad night (552)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

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  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1585) Bad night (479)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.

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  (985): Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine. http://tfl.nu/rmj5
  Replies (2) Good night (917) Bad night (353)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising

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  (812): I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising http://tfl.nu/m486
  Replies (2) Good night (171) Bad night (390)

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