i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.