My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.