Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
