Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
